Ask The Pastor
September 2008
My husband just recently gave his life to Christ. Sometimes I see him returning to his old ways especially if he is around unsaved family members. James 5:19 - 20 addresses this. I take those verses to mean the issues should be addressed in love and concern for another's salvation and eternal future. Luke 6:41 says I should be concerned about the plank in my own eye instead of the speck of sawdust in my brother's eye.
The balance in judgment is in the motive, not in an attempt to find perfection. As a wife who cares deeply about your husband and his success, I would suggest you do the following for him. First tell him how proud of him you are for beginning a new life in Christ. Let him know how good it makes you feel to see how much he has changed.
Once you have opened the door to this conversation, then very carefully tell him you have noticed something you’re not sure he realizes. Tell him you have noticed that when he is around unsaved family members he acts differently. Gently remind him of God’s plan to save them by his witness. Encourage him, but don’t condemn him.
You can help your husband overcome the temptation to act one way at home and another way when around unsaved people from his past. This is something we all have to face at one time or another, so let him know you are there to help and to pray for him.
Say that I am a 19 yr. old girl, and I am in a relationship with a 23 yr. old guy. My parent tells me that she has heard from the Holy Spirit, along with my aunt, godfather and another church member friend, that this guy is not "the one" for me. Should I take this as truth and separate from this guy even though he is a wonderful godly man, or should we wait for the Holy Spirit to tell US both that we are not meant for each other before we would break it off?
The first thing I want you to know is that time is not your enemy. Time can be your friend if you will allow yourself to use it wisely in a season of judgment. I encourage you to take some time away from one another in order to judge your time together.
In other words, don’t spend every waking moment with your friend as if you are attached at the hip. Spend some time with other friends, spend time in prayer, and do some things all by yourself. This will help your relationship mature, and it will give you both time to keep your minds clear and clean.
Each of you must discover on your own if this relationship has a future or not. Remember, it is a relationship not a destination, which is why you need plenty of time, judgment, prayer and fasting to help you prove if your steps are of the Lord. All of these things will help you hear from the Holy Spirit yourself.
Please explain sanctification and the process by which we become sanctified. I want this to become a lifestyle, but I need the tools and teaching to make this a real and genuine experience. I want my life to change and be in total agreement and unity with God. Will you be doing a teaching series on this process in the near future?
To begin, I encourage you to read the following scriptures: Psalm 119:9; John 15:3; John 17:17; Ephesians 5:26; I Thessalonians 5:23.
Sanctification is the act of changing oneself into Christ-likeness. It requires a three-fold work which is ongoing until we go to Heaven.
First, you must be born again (see John 3:3). Second, you must free yourself from spiritual uncleanness through the Word and the leading of the Holy Ghost. (See above scriptures and Romans 8:14 & 15:16; II Thessalonians 2:13; II Corinthians 7:1-2; I Peter 1:2.) Finally, you must renew your mind and keep under your body. (See Romans 12:1-2; I Ephesians 4:17-24; I Corinthians 9:25-27; I Thessalonians 4:3-5.)
These three processes are ongoing, and they all come about by revelation of the Word of God, the leading of the Holy Ghost, personal convictions, prayer, fasting and application of the Word (doing and obeying instead of hearing only).
Sanctification is three-fold in this respect also:
We are sanctified. (Acts 20:32; 26:18)
We are being sanctified. (II Corinthians 3:17-18)
We will be sanctified. (I Corinthians 15:51-54)
I hope this helps.
Since you came to Christ before Pastor Peter, how did you pray for your husband as you watched him grow in his relationship with Christ? What would be your godly words of wisdom for wives as we watch our husbands go through spiritual battles?
My best advice is to just be there for your husband. Always be very supportive, no matter what is going on in his life. Remember, growth takes time, so don’t be in a hurry to change him. Let God do the changing by His Spirit.
I would pray according to Galatians 5:22-26 that the fruit of the spirit would begin to manifest in your husband’s life. I would also pray that he would become a man after God’s own heart. Truly, every promise in the Bible can become a prayer if you will insert your husband’s name in it.
You can pray the world for him, but prepared to be patient and kind as he grows in the Lord. The last thing he needs is a wife who needles him about every little issue. Encourage him when you see growth, and keep praying when you don’t. Our lives are seasonal, so don’t expect growth by leaps and bounds every week, or even every year.
Most of all love your husband through thick and thin, and get ready for a great life together!